Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal, the blessing of able to come home even an hour earlier, is undescribable. Despite buzzing and ‘pretending’ being able to run around to squeeze every atom of the body to work for the ummah, yet, she needed that break. Before she breaks herself. Alhamdulillah.
“Treat us pizza now, you’re officially a senior.” Her colleague smiled and she replied with a silence. Alhamdulillah. She has her secret agenda in plan once she’s off. That week has been a very eventful week, so many things to learn. So many times she felt like just collapsing in the middle of the wards and ask herself, why? She felt like lying herself at the bed grass and looked up in the skies and ask Allah azza wa jalla, what’s up with these people around her. She felt at times Allah s.w.t Was so far away from her, despite her knowing the fact that He Is Indeed near. She felt like pouring everything in her qalb to that close sahabat, and tell her that it is so tiring. She too, is indeed a human being. And knows the limits of being smashed, and being ‘used’.
But, something stood out to her.
The essence of these tiring journeys.
The key to these ongoing queing falls.
It shows her true colours. Which prevents her from being a hypocrite, hopefully insh’Allah.
Because when someone is being pushed by others off the cliff several times, they will try more and more again, so that she could really dig herself well onto the grounds she has been standing on so far, to prevent from being pushed. Again.
And on those grounds and beliefs that she has been building over the years, and more in the years to come, she knows, that onto those she has stood up for so long- Allah s.w.t Has Made them to root into her more stronger too.
Once of those roots which start to detest her was- Sabr.
Patience in terms of proper patience.
The numbers of patients in the wards has increased, in simple terms, their wellbeings is in her hands, of course ultimately in the hands of Allah azza wa jalla. But with the knowledge that Allah s.w.t Has Equipped her with all these while, it is a known fact that her patients are her amanahs. And within that period of time when they are under her care, if they could be something within her knowledge and she didn’t convey those to them. She definitely would be asked by Allah azza wa jalla on the Yaumul Qiyamah.
Even if they come asking Allah s.w.t that we had the chance to palpate a metastatic cancer in their abdomen but we missed out that because we were too lazy to examine it. It would still be asked.
Tough. It is tough.
So, she decided to give her own time to admit it’s tough, and keep climbing hard. And when she needs that support, she dived herself in the prayer room, in constant duaas from Allah azza wa jalla. Truly, it might seems that she is a hypocrite for only at those times she ask more from Him azza wa jalla. But she knows, those are the only times spared from her topsy turvy hours. And she is striving to improve hourly. Allah, Please Make it Easy.
Give your best during your worst.
Mus’ab ran down the stairs. Despite the long way down, he still ran. And he has another 20K to complete for the day. “The plan. It’s still going. Still going.” He smiled. There are so many things to do to execute the plan. He was more optimistic than usual. His heart bloomed when he heard that 95% of the board members had agreed to proceed with his plans. At that second when his hopes were flying high, his phone rang. He stopped. It was Talhah, his next-door colleague.
“Mus’ab, where are you?”
“On the way soon. How’s things?” Mus’ab replied in the midst of him trying to catch his breaths.
“I’ve latest updates.”
“Tell me, how’s the preparation going on?”
That 3 second pause sounded like a 3 year long pause.
“Mus’ab, bro. It’s off. Sorry bro.”
Mus’ab stopped breathing. Just when he was gaining that peak of his career. Just when he was trying to get that bit of easiness. In the middle of the stairs, he stopped and sat.
‘Allahuakbar.’ After a long pause, he stopped thinking. When all his hopes were high after the 14 months of awaiting, it has returned back into square one.
A message came in:
“Whatever comes into your way, either good or bad to you, know it is the Best from Allah. Say Alhamdulillah! =D”
He smiled. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah for Allah s.w.t Has Sent some of the most wonderful people in his life. True enough, ihsan is a very challenging challenge to tick upon.
Also on the authority of ‘Umar, radiyallahu ‘anhu, who said:
Your body is made of the same elements that lionesses are built from. Three quarters of you is the same kind of water that beats rocks to rubble, wears stones away. Your DNA translates into the same twenty amino acids that wolf genes code for. When you look in the mirror and feel weak, remember, the air you breathe in fuels forest fires capable of destroying everything they touch. On the days you feel ugly, remember: diamonds are only carbon. You are so much more.
Allah has created you & there’s a purpose for that. Find your calling.
Allahua’lam. Looking forward to that long rest awaited for. When both feet have entered Jannah inshAllah. Like seriously ya Allah, please make it easy.