Assalamualaykum wr wbt.
This week, Humayra’ had a lot of teachings on one of the things that no one can run or hide away from ; death.
The heart has been hit so many times, she wonders if it is able to withstand anymore hits. She smiled as she wrote swiftly on the notes, eyes shining and messing around the student nurses who have been helping her around. She continued smiling as her colleague told her that two of her patients have passed away. Humayra’ kept writing.
“Doctor, have you eaten?” An elderly patient asked her, as she offered her bread to her. Humayra’ politely shook her head, and she replied that she is used to of not having lunch. Once she eat anything more than two boxes of milk, she starts to develop diarrhoea. And that’s a weird habit that she herself had to adapt to despite of the starvation that clouds daily. Patient collapsing, passing away, and deteriorating. The most saddest crunch in her heart are cancer patients. Yet she asked herself, if she was so sensitive like this, what made Allah s.w.t. turned this path for her. She looked at her phone and her old wish to dissolve like the salt in the water, has finally been fulfilled. Being in a quite hectic life where the sun outside brings endless happiness, made her further from her loved ones. The least she could ask is for them to understand her, and keep her in their supplications. And the most, she just needed that reassurance that she is doing okay. It’s true that Allah s.w.t Is All Knower, Most Sufficient for an amatullah like her, but she just needed that humongous support from her loved ones, even if they might seem minute to her.
Humayra’ smiled. Slowly she gathered these crunches, quickly went into the prayer room, and released one by one.
“I’m still learning, ya Allah.” She whispered slowly. For every elderly she sees, it reminds her of her own grandmother of how she would like them to be treated. And for every young girl she looked them as her own daughter. SubhanAllah, indeed, only by being in these situations make you realize that you’re so small. And there’s so much more to learn. Being able to motivate and bring yourself up to a higher level- indeed that is something that is a must-have to be strong. For strength is not located at the huge bulk of muscles that you posess. But strength is indeed located inside your heart and your minds, the ability to perceive a problem as something to increase your neurone cells. The ability to see a moment of sadness as something to boost your strength for the next set of tests. The ability to fall as a chance for you to get up and keep learning. And at times of those failures, one thing which really motivated Humayra’ was the ability to teach others in the future and being a lecturer, and educator- her long-life passion all this while insh’Allah.
Hrm. You only realize the value of something/ someone only when you lose them.
Ya Allah, we are all still learning, only for Your azza wa jalla’s Sake.
Please ya Allah, please make it easy.
ps me typing as usual despite nearly need-to-CPRed-at-this moment. for those who question my free time…. ilikewriting.com.