Assalamualaykum wr wbt,
I ask Allah awj to Protect those reading this, and grant them the best of eeman and health insh’Allah.
I in Ikhlas
SubhanAllah, indeed a week of lessons-gushing in neurones, some really tested the furthest things in the minds, yet he thought, that he couldn’t even mention with his own mouth. He paused and typed the words, “Did I do right?”
He just needed that assurance, so that at least the heart can be put into peace. At least. And someone to just tell him, “Yes, you did okay.” He knew it well Allah azza wa jalla Has Set up the best of tests in His creations and He knows, how heavy it could set in their shoulders. But to identify that that’s the best plans that have been planned by Allah azza wa jalla is something difficult to implement. There are just some moments where shaytaan whispers uncertainties, if he was doing the right thing at the right time. Was he able to make the correct judgement and did he make that decision to make him happy or them happy. Did he consider Allah s.w.t To be Happy with that decision most importantly. He opened his book, to finish off his reading which he had the sudden urge to finish off as quickly as possible. The sounds of the slow tapping rain filled his ears, and a thunder accompanied the cold breeze of the air. As he read the last sentence, he heard someone with a soft clear voice at the back carefully, selectively choosing words. Mus’ab turned and saw a 70 ish year old man dressed in a white long collared tshirt, and black pants, holding an old looking thick book, as his fingers went through the pages, his mouth formed the best voice he has heard for a while. A sense of tranquility filled in his mind, trying to strain his ears to hear more.
Blessed is He who has placed in the sky great stars and placed therein a [burning] lamp and luminous moon.
And it is He who has made the night and the day in succession for whoever desires to remember or desires gratitude.
[Al Quran, Surah Furqan 61-62]
The man smiled after he paused. And he repeated the verses he read. Mus’ab went closer to the man. His shoulders shuddered both in cold and in awe. Allahuakbar. He understood what he read. Suddenly, the man reached out his hands slowly and placed them on Mus’ab’s shoulder. A sense of warmth felt, as he continued smiling. “Assalamualaykum young man.”
“Waalaykum salam warahmatullah Uncle.”
The man smiled again, and asked,
“Tell me dear son, tell me, if you don’t mind,”
Mus’ab looked around, if he was looking for any buses in particular.
“Tell me, Allah azza wa jalla Mentions in this ayahs about ‘sama’ buruujan’, the great stars in the skies and ‘qamaran munira’ the luminous moon. Tell me dear son, how beautiful are these that Allah Mentioned about them in the most beautiful book ever?”
The old man smiled, asking Mus’ab as he pointed in his mushaf, the verses, written in Braille.
Mus’ab froze. He looked onto the dark skies filled with rain, and the famous scent. He thought, when was the last time he looked at the stars and the moon.
“Dear son, tell me how is layl, the night different from nahar, the day? What differentiates this two?”
Mus’ab paused, looking for the answer, as he looked at the old man.
“Dearest Uncle, tell me first please, if you don’t mind… What differs from them who can’t see and who can see? What differs from those who learn and those who ignore? Those who sincerely don’t know and those pretending to not know?”
So have they not traveled through the earth and have hearts by which to reason and ears by which to hear? For indeed, it is not eyes that are blinded, but blinded are the hearts which are within the breasts.
[Al Quran, Surah Al Haj :46]
The man read and smiled more. That was the man who smiled more and could ‘see’ more despite Allah azza wa jalla tested him with this temporariness blindness. Mus’ab thought.
“Dear son, indeed every single man lived has sins, thus know yourself, know that sins of yours and be cautious for sins blind the heart.”
The Impact of Sins – Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah
Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah explains to us the effects of sins in his book Al-Jawab Al-Kafi:
1) Prevention of knowledge:
Knowledge is a light which Allah throws into the heart and disobedience extinguishes this light.
Imam Ash-Shafi`i said: “I complained to Wakee` about the weakness of my memory, so he ordered me to abandon disobedience and informed me that knowledge is light. He said that the light of Allah is not given to the disobedient.”
2) Prevention of sustenance:
Just as righteousness brings about sustenance, the abandonment of righteousness causes poverty. There is nothing which can bring about sustenance like the abandonment of sins.
3) Prevention of obedience (to Allah):
If there was no other punishment for sin except that it prevents one from obeying Allah then this would be sufficient.
4) Disobedience weakens the heart:
The fact that it weakens the heart is clear. Disobedience continues to weaken the heart until its life ceases completely.
5) Disobedience reduces one’s lifespan and destroys any blessings:
Just as righteousness increases one’s lifespan, sinning reduces it.
6) Legacy of the cursed:
Every type of disobedience is the legacy of a nation from among those which Allah destroyed. Sodomy is a legacy of the people of Lot, taking more than one’s due right and giving what is less is a legacy of the people of Shu`aib, spreading mischief and corruption is a legacy of the people of Pharaoh and pride, including arrogance and tyranny, is a legacy of the people of Hud. So the disobedient one is somehow a part of those nations who were the enemies of Allah.
7) Disobedience is a cause of the servant being held in contempt by his Lord:
Al-Hasan Al-Basri said: “They became contemptible in (His sight) so they disobeyed Him. If they were honorable (in His sight) He would have protected them.”
8) Effect of sins on others:
The ill-effects of the sinner fall upon those around him as well as the animals as a result of which they are touched by harm.
9) Living in sin:
The servant continues to commit sins until they become very easy for him and seem insignificant in his heart and this is a sure sign of destruction. Every time a sin becomes insignificant in the sight of the servant it becomes great in the sight of Allah.
10) Disobedience brings humiliation and lowliness:
Every aspect of honour lies in the obedience of Allah. Ibn Al-Mubarak said: “I have seen sins kill the hearts. And humiliation is inherited by their continuity. The abandonment of sins gives life to the hearts. And the prevention of your soul is better for it.”
11) Disobedience corrupts the intellect:
The intellect has light and disobedience extinguishes this light. When the light of the intellect is extinguished it becomes weak and deficient.
12) Sealing of the heart:
When disobedience increases, the servant’s heart becomes sealed so that he becomes of those who are heedless. The Exalted said: [But no! A stain has been left on their hearts on account of what they used to earn (that is, their actions)] (Al-Mutaffifin 83: 14).
13) Sins cause various types of corruption to occur in the land:
Corruption of the water, the air, the plants, the fruit, and the dwelling places. The Exalted said: [Mischief has appeared on the land and the sea on account of what the hands of men have earned; that He may give them a taste of some of (the actions) they have done, in order that they may return] (Ar-Rum 30: 41).
14) Disappearance of modesty:
Modesty is the essence of the life of the heart and is the basis of every good. Its disappearance is the disappearance of all that is good. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Modesty is goodness, all of it.”
15) Sins weaken and reduce the magnification of Allah the Almighty in the heart of the servant.
16) Sins are the cause of Allah forgetting His servant:
Sinning also causes Allah to abandon him and leave him to fend for himself with his soul and his Satan and in this is destruction from which no deliverance can be hoped for.
17) Being removed from the realm of benevolence:
When a person’s sins, benevolence is removed from his heart. When benevolence fills the heart it prevents it from disobedience.
18) Disobedience causes the favours (of Allah) to cease and makes His revenge lawful:
No blessing ceases to reach a servant except because of a sin, and no retribution is made lawful upon him except because of a sin. Ali ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “No trial has descended except due to a sin and it (the trial) is not repelled except by repentance.”
As he sat on the bench, he replayed the questions in his head. Why did he chose this path than other paths. Why did he chose her and not the other. Why did he continued and did not stopped. Why did he hold onto and did not leave. Why. Because he knew that even in the indeterminable times to make decisions, he felt utter bitterness and pain when those things disappear. He did not ask for them, never. But Allah Created those pain, to test him. Is he doing it for them, or for Him azza wa jalla. He paused, and thought. if it was meant for me, it will be for me, if it isn’t, it will not. Thinking deeply and digesting them slowly, implementing them in life. So many lives he has hurt he just ask Allah to not hurt more. He ask Allah to make his heart much much much more sincere, for not expecting anything at all from people he love. He asked and will continue to ask Allah for sincerity. Tough, but it has to be dissolved in his little heart. He asked Allah so he will not regret for every single thing which befalls him, and he ask Allah that people surround him don’t regret for him being a part of their lives. Let them forget him as soon as possible and his name and body to vanish but he ask Allah s.w.t Only to Recognize him in the day of judgement and Allah s.w.t Only to be have Mercy and Love to him. Indeed, his heart do feel upset, angry, so he asked Allah to cleanse his heart from all those and fill them with love, care and even if he fell in deepest of burrows to make his legs strong and keep moving on for the journey back home. And he knows well that the harder he tries, the more Allah Will Test him, and he only wants to keep running, further and further from this tiring temporariness towards eternal resting bliss. He asked Allah azza wa jalla for how The Prophet s.a.w loved the Ummah more than himself s.a.w, to have that feeling in himself. Make the importance of the ummah humongous and of his smaller than half the atom. SubhanAllah, sacrifices are made, not just merely words. He knew that, and he hoped at least he has prepared for that. Life, indeed a reaping moment for that long to be written never-ending story. He stood up, took a deep breath and after that resetting of mind compass, he took the first step, in the name of Allah azza wa jalla.
Abundance of Noor
Truth to be told, only Allah azza wa jalla Knows what is inside the hearts. Ana know well that other people out there has much much more bigger more serious problems, undergoing trials and tribulations, facing starvation and so much more to list on. And ana sincerely ask Allah to Grant ease for every single of them and make those trials and difficulties an expiation of their sins and carving steps miles of them to move towards You ya Rabb. But subhanAllah, for every human being, Allah s.w.t Knows well what He Tests with and that is the reason why fear, feeling of insecurity still shadows a person. Becoming a doctor, or within that title itself, surely ana is very nervous and scared. Apart from the amanah is the knowledge which we have to learn continuously, to develop and to comprehend. Which applies of course to other professions as well. But, the wonderful thing about this is it makes us realize that we are so small. Makes us cry numerously thinking, the fact of us being utterly so small, yet we still make mistakes and forgot the bigger fact that Allah s.w.t is Much Bigger, indeed the Biggest of all, the Most Powerful. And at times, mostly, you do feel that no one else would understand you, which… shallowly it makes us feel upset, but deeply it teaches ana that in times when you seriously feel alone, it’s those times you when you realize the most that Allah s.w.t Is Always with you, closer to you than the jugular vein, which is already so close to you even your eyes lose to it. Allahuakbar. This amatullah sincerely ask the uncles and aunties out there who are indeed soleh and solehah reading this, to ask Allah to Grant me Allah’s Redha to me so inshAllah every step can seem to be lighter despite thunderstorms and hazy wazy days. And may Allah Grant you much much more insh’Allah. The heart’s missing Dubs greatly, the love, and sunshine. The sincere ones working for Him azza wa jalla, and the ‘semangat’ with the warmest of smiles. Them asking me about my Quran for they care about my akhirat. Them who straight from tell me they don’t like me. Them who ensure my safety. Them who buys me ice cream after hours of reminders. Them who witness me running from the funny kids. Them who ask me ‘How’s you?’ even if they didn’t meant to ask. Them who Allah s.w.t Sent to make every jigsaw of my day. Them who I look forward to cross paths again even if they forget me, I ask Allah to keep them fresh in my mind as if I have met them every single day for they have very meaningful meaning to this little amatullah. May Allah Protect them all insh’Allah.
The amatullah who’s searching the I in Ikhlas,