Blue and white

Assalamualaykum wr wbt

I ask Allah to Grant those who are reading, the best of eeman and health insh’Allah.


Assalamualaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh- and I mean it!

Alhamdulillah ala kuli hal, after a voyage and temporary job of a tourist guide, I think I’m back to normal me settling down with my books-to-read and medical books, figuring out how to deal with different patients. And trying to get as much rest possible before a hectic life, I think, I’m ready for the job insh’Allah. (duaas requested). So many things happened in a day, was in a call then someone buzzed and different call, then again someone else buzzed in a diffrerent call then… I noticed something, I need to call someone too! 🙂

weshallneverstop:07.07´07  |  johann SmariThis never fail to amaze me.And it is He Who has let free the two seas (kinds of water), one palatable and sweet, and the other salt and bitter, and He has set a barrier and a complete partition between them. - [25:53]

Exhaustion, I love you for the sake of Allah. 

And the best of calls, is when you have a refreshing cleanse of hands, face, arms, head and feet then when the heart is closest to the grounds, prostrating, calling out to him, especially when most of the inhabitants of the earth are deep in slumber. Then thinking, what have the tiny slave has done the whole day, and thinking out future plans with her other half who she hasn’t heard for nearly 2 months now. And so many things to entail. SubhanAllah. This is when she loves exhaustion the most. It makes 6/7th of the problems much more tinier than it seems. The ability of microscopying a test from Allah azza wa jalla, surely requires abundance of strength and honesty. Dealing with an array of ‘signs of love’ from Allah azza wa jalla to humans, she got an overview of how most of these tests are being solved effectively based on the level of eeman an abdullah has. What does it mean? The more you have eeman, that is the believe in Allah swt that He azza wa jalla appoints you for a certain test because you can go through it, the more easier you will face that test. Makes sense?

Because Prophet Musa a.s. has an outstanding level of tawakkul and faith in Allah azza wa jalla, because of his a.s. extraordinary eeman, Allah a.w.j. divided the Red Sea when he was on the verge of being killed by Firaun. Allah s.w.t Helped him and Made him a.s. firm when Prophet Musa a.s. has gone all out in educating his a.s. tribe and standing for the haq. Indeed dealing with human beings, people we love, people we troubles, people far from us, people close to us, is not an easy task, it requires you, (me first and foremost) to build that superstrong relationship with Allah azza wa jalla, then He s.w.t Will Make it easy for us inshAllah. 

We cry over why people leave us, people quarelling, people not listening to us, when, our daily Quran reading is far from a page. We despair thinking why Allah azza wa jalla is not helping us enough when our prayers are far from khusyu’ (concentration) and we don’t even strive for it. We feel sad because things are not going in our way, when we don’t even care to make time for Allah azza wa jalla after prayers, asking Him s.w.t for help and to guide us in the right path. We feel regretful not able to get married as the age gets older…. (hah!) when we don’t even care to cleanse our hearts with tawbah and istighfar. We want the best, but… sadly we don’t give our best for Him azza wa jalla.

She looked at the screen, thinking.

Just typing this, send shivers through her spine. Astaghfirullahilladzim.


Whoever desires the harvest of the Hereafter – We increase for him in his harvest. And whoever desires the harvest of this world – We give him thereof, but there is not for him in the Hereafter any share.

[Al Quran, Surah As Shura : 20]

A ayah from Quran which she repeatedly read, try to digest and think. So many things has been in her mind, and at times she selectively chose to delete some of them and start over a new page. True, its not easy as it seems, but if she stays in that old scribbled page for so long, she won’t be able to complete a book. And she wants to present the best of editions to her Lord azza wa jalla, Allah swt and there’s no better news than Allah s.w.t to be Happy and to have Mercy on her when looking back to her book. The story of her short life which she lived throughout this dunya.

<br />Prophet Muhammad s.a.w  [Muslim]<br />

And in this tiring short temporary life, she wants to make sure, she is able to sow the best of seeds in the best of soils. To get the best of trees, strongest of roots and toughest of branches with sweetest of fruits. And that requires not her alone. Her mind grazed through memories when she was in college. The best of best memories still lies there. And subhanAllah, no words nor feelings can be described- it has to be gone through. With that special comrade who pushes her consistently and seriously no doubt even 0.0000001 per cent, this comrade has consistent in making sure she has the best in both worlds. Every single day, she stays in mind. Only Allah Knows if she’s living, eating properly, drinking or dressing properly or… is battling with life. But one thing she knows for sure. Allah s.w.t Promises the best of promises and never Breaks His s.w.t Promises.  One of their favourite motivation, always being reminded among themselves,


O you who have believed, if you support Allah , He will support you and plant firmly your feet.

[Al Quran, Surah Muhammad :7]

Love at First Smile

“Do you ever believe in best friends?” Ru’yah asked them.  They looked at themselves. Sakeenah shook her head. Never in the world did she believe in that since she was in pre college. Asma’ stopped and nodded.

“It could exist. It’s not impossible.” Different reactions from both of them. Sakeenah just led out a laugh whilst Asma’ looked more seriously interested.

“Tell me?” Ru’yah took a peach and starting cutting them. She smiled looking at both of them. Despite the difference of age, nationality, backgrounds of families, these two people seem to have lots in common, but mostly hidden.

“You know. When these two people look at each other and… without words they can understand, to me, that’s an outstanding sisterhood which what best friends mean, right?” Asma’ looked at Sakeenah who seemed to be more serious now. And slowly, Sakeenah nodded. Thinking, is there even possible to have that kind of sisterhood.

After one and a half years. It seemed very possible subhanAllah. The door opened and Asma’ was holding a box of chocolates smiling as widely to Sakeenah who looked at her half teary eyed. They hugged, and for 2 minutes they continued in the warmth of their ukhuwwah. Sakeenah’s tears fell silently as Asma’ was mumbling continuous duaas for the bond Allah s.w.t Has Gifted upon them. They have a dinner coming that night, and both of them were the main organizers, so they stayed and cut pieces, planned the floor with Ru’yah and silently stayed hungry. They didn’t communicate much via talking, they just understood one another, because they made it clear from the start, that honesty was the most vital base of their acquaintanceship.

In the midst of the hectic night trying to raise as much funds for Gaza, Sakeenah looked around and ran around the hall, one of her favourite pastimes, looking for a sense of tranquility. She saw some of her companions trying to deal with the registration people, some dealing with the auctioneers and some dealing with the speakers. She paused as someone was missing. She walked out of the hall, and saw Asma’ sitting on the couch bending and looking around calmly. Her eyes were on the ceilings but her mind was somewhere else. In her hands was a mushaf. Sakeenah made sure everything was in place back in the main hall, and walked slowly towards Asma’. Asma’ made space for her to sit, and smiled.

“Nervous?” Sakeenah asked.

“La yukalifullahu nafsan illa wus’aha.” Asma’ replied.  Sakeenah smiled wider.

” Sad?” She asked again.

“La tahzan, innAllaha ma’ana.” Asma replied again.  Sakeenah stopped and looked at her.


“Lahumul bushra fil hayatiddunya wa fil akheerah. La tabdila li kalimaatillah. Dhalika huwal fau zul ‘a dzim.”

Sakeenah paused. Looked and her. “Meaning please?”

“For them are good tidings in the worldly life and in the Hereafter. No change is there in the words of Allah . That is what is the great attainment. Surah Yunus.”

They smiled in great joy, only Allah Knows why.


“That’s a tough one. I’ve a long one. ” Asma’ closed her mushaf and her eyes, thinking deeply.

“Awsini insh’Allah.” Sakeenah’s heart thumped more. Those were the moments where she looked forward than anything else. The honest advices which comes from a comrade who seriously wants to be with you in the best of places.

“Wa’ lamu annal ummatan lawij tama ‘at ‘ala an yanf’uka bi shai’, lam yanfa’uka illa bi shay in qad katabAllahu lak. Wa inij tama ‘u ‘ala an yadhoorruka bi shay in, lam ya dhoorruka illa  bi shay in qad katabAllahu ‘alaik. Ru fi ‘atil aqlam, wa jaffatissuhuf.”

Sakeenah slowly immerse herself in the hadeeth mentioned clearly by Asma’.

“The pens have been lifted, the pages have dried.” She smiled again.

“Worry not, for even the heartbeat of yours have been inscripted by Allah azza wa jalla. Now we just need to give our best so, we prepare ourselves to be amongst those who are liable to be with Allah azza wa jalla, and gain His s.w.t mercy and Love inshAllah.”


Kids Laughter we Miss Most

Both of them were nearly dropping on the floor, tired from the full day they had, from morning trying to sell of tickets, and going around city to sort out the upcoming camp. They entered the mosque looking at one another. 10 more minutes before the halaqah starts, and their stomachs are growling.

“I grab some chips, then we eat for 5 minutes, go pray then meet up at the hall below?” Asma’ asked.

Sakeenah nodded glimpsing at her watch, she is so hungry and tired at the same time. She entered the grocery shop whilst Asma’ went into  the restaurant. Her eyes noticed some jellies on the entrance. She smiled as if she has found the treasure of the month, she grabbed watermelon flavour, Asma’s favourite, some chocolates and kids looking sweets, and two box of drinks. The uncle looked at her and she smiled as she said salams. That’s not the first time she gets weird looks from buying kiddish goodies, she didn’t mind a bit. Actually, she enjoyed the looks, once she was asked, “Are you buying for your children?” and all she replied was a laugh with a complaint in her brains, “I’m not that old….” 

As they finished off their chips, prayed tahhiyatul masjeed and Maghrib prayers, they walked down the hall. Clearly, the lines of tiredness could be seen in each other’s eyes, but they just laughed at their exhaustion. Half of Sakeenah’s heart was worried about her final written paper the next day, but she knew, she needed this. Not the kids nor the masjeed need these gems. It is she who needed it. The feeling of just sitting with the most wonderful kids she has met in her life, even at age 5 succeedingly wins her hearts and inspire her to get closer to Allah azza wa jalla. She truly loves it and strives her best never to miss this weekly beautiful gathering. At times, when exams seasons fly by, there would be 4 or 5 people, and she does not mind a bit, for Allah s.w.t Does not see things quantitively, but qualitively, how she tries her best to give all her out in these gatherings. She sat down and looked at Asma’ who was checking out her Quran for today’s tafseer. And as they sat, groups of girls entered and as time passed, there was nearly 40 girls in the room. Sakeenah started to panick, as she didn’t have time to prepare properly workshops or such for the activities because of the hectic week which have passed. She looked at Asma’ who continuously said Alhamdulillah and eagerly searching in the Quran.

“Sakeenah! Can I please share something?” A 7 year old tiny girl in the most adorable pink hijab came up to her and placed her hands on Sakeenah’s lap.

“Surely dear, go on! After Quran?” Sakeenah replied as she hugged the girl tightly. The scent of innocence really melts her hearts.

“Thank you!” Haneen smiled and went back to her place in the circle.

“Okay girls, bismillah, we’re going to start!” Sakeenah looked around, the circle was quite big with a huge number and all were looking at her eagerly, looking forward to another exciting journey of, knowing Creator azza wa jalla.

“How’s you?” She asked as she waved around. There were a few girls aged in the range of 7-11 and a few teenagers of 15-22 and two aunts aged 30 plus also sitting eagerly in the circle looking at her.

“Alhamdulillah!” “Cool!” “Fantastic!” An uproar of answers were heard plus the chuckles of the tiny ones and the warm smiles of the elderly, all these, fell into place like jigsaw puzzles in Sakeenah’s heart. She felt at home. At place. Alhamdulillah ala kuli hal.

They kicked off with Quran tafseer by Asma’ on Surah As Shaffat about the sacrifices of Prophet Ibrahim a.s. and His a.s. family. Then they dived into the world of Making Duaa by Haneen and then a hadeeth- drama session set up by Ru’yah. A good 2 hours spent with laughter, lessons and love.

At the end of the gathering, Asma’ leaning at the walls of the mosque with Ru’yah and Sakeenah spent keeping silent as they listened attentively to an unknown brother reciting Surah Ar Ruum with one of the nicest recitations and they looked into the mushaf for the translation and sunk themselves into the meaning of the ayahs.

The start of the journey yet to come. Deep in their hearts, they know it well. That separation is a must, if not now it’ll be later. The time will come for Allah s.w.t Tests each and every one of us with what we love most. The more we hold on to something, the more Allah s.w.t Tests us with those, to see which stands out more in our hearts, them or Allah s.w.t only. And to prove for what we hold on to them. For what reason we cry for them. For what purpose do we get so close. For which destination do we bond with one another.


With Lots of Love




By time,

Indeed, mankind is in loss,

Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

[Al Quran Surah Al Ashr, 1-3]

naasirheydari:</p><p>Empty seats in a Palestinian classroom. The signs name the children who were killed by Israel. </p><p>لا حول و لا قوة الا بالله<br />

Dearest you, 

Let Surah Al Ashr be the foundations of our love. Like the bricks of the magnificent skyscrapers. Like the smiles of a mother. The grounds of the lands. 

The heart yearns the glad tidings on this temporary dunya. The sounds of your laughter. And the moments when you correct me when you see me wrong. The times when you pulled me, pushed me and crawled with me. Towards Allah’s Love and Mercy and nothing less. 

The times when you stood with me without me asking for. And times when I was at lowest points of despair, you turned them into the highest peaks of hope. 

Let Surah Al Ashr be the base of our love. Believing in Allah s.w.t, doing righteous deeds, and continously advising one another towards truth and towards patience. 

When I asked you if it’s martyrdom you’re seeking for, you told me, that whatever kind of death comes to you, you just. Just want Allah s.w.t To be Happy with you.

Let Surah Al Ashr be pillars of our love, the hood we’ve been building, in meets, in misses. In presence, in duaas. In dunya, in jannah insh’Allah. 

O Allah, forgive all of my sins.

To my dearest great grandmother who rarely drop here and to most of my tweets are dedicated to (smile cheekily) I’m super happy subhanAllah for the good news soon, I ask Allah to Grant you the best of the best because you biidhnillah deserves the best. Happy doctor-ing, I’ll be your junior soon *inshAllah and I love you more and more every day! 😀 

To my dearest sister in the heart of different parents 🙂 Indeed only Allah Knows what is going through your life in this dunya and in akheerah iA, I feel like being there with you, but only Allah Knows, that you are consistently in my duaas. Your ‘youliveabigholehere!’ never fails to make me laugh and a bit regretful maybe? But I know my dearest hayaty, you will leave a bigger much more meaningful ‘hole’ in the hearts of people there. Be Mindful of Allah, and Allah Will Be Mindful of you. 

To my dearest companion who never fails to send me emails nearly daily and always making duaa for me, please know that you always brighten up the heart in times of low, and subhanAllah, I ask Allah to Grant you much much more. We rarely meet but it’s as if we have known for ages 🙂 They say, you don’t get bored when meeting and you don’t miss out when don’t meet! (hahaha, I’m laughing at my own quote!) but, inshAllah, I really ask Allah s.w.t to Love you how you love me for the skae of Allah 🙂 

Alhamdulillah for the wonderful technology Allah s.w.t Has Bestowed amongst us- whatsappppp! I love re-listening to audios people sent to me which acts as a booster for the day (especially long ones!) and looking forward to sitting in midst wards clearking patients and smiling to myself listening to those audios 🙂 Jazakum Allahukhayran katheera for those who took time to send me those audios- truly touched alhamdulillah. 

Alhamdulillah to my dearest family who have endured a long 4 months with me, and soon I’ll vanish in the hecticness of work, I hope you all endure more (laughs cheekily) and looking forward to the lil bro coming home soon after 5 months and then the moments of merriment inshAllah! 

And those who read till this faaar 😀 I’m seriously grateful to Allah azza wa jalla for you reading this far, may Allah s.w.t Grant you the best of akheerah, the highest levels of paradise and the best of every step in paving towards Allah’s Mercy inshAllah. Keep me in your precious duaas. I’ll blog more inshAllah – writing is my therapy 😀 

Amatullah, ya Allah Please Forgive me and us all, 

Ahlul Noor



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