Assalamualaykum wr wbt.
Hey Mr Mushkilah, I have Allah lah!
This was one of the most challenging yet best Ramadhan for her. Sakeenah looked at the crowd and she looked at herself. Her heart was still thumping- alhamdulillah. She really felt like complaining to someone, like endlessly, but slowly she fold all those worries neatly and place them into the shelves of her tiny heart. It feels if she moved forward her right leg would be chopped off, and if she moved backwards, her left one would be gone. So long she have not felt those kind of moments, but silently, she thanked Allah azza wa jalla. For those moments in time is when she dates with Allah azza wa jalla the best of dates. In this particular month of the year, she looked forward very intensely. Getting prepared for teraweeh is one of the best moments where she would dress her best, and heart would be all excited, to meet Him azza wa jalla in the best of times. Night, when it falls and there is no light of busy-ness devouring humans around her. Ramadhan the month of maghfirah (forgiving) and when fasting is Promised by Allah azza wa jalla Himself, that He s.w.t Would Reward exclusively, and also given the undescribable bliss when break fasting and meeting Him azza wa jalla. SubhanAllah, Allahuakbar. What else could she ask for more, when Allah azza wa jalla Has Given her so much. Sakeenah wiped her tears as the Imam was reading the second verse of Al Fatihah. Her heart crunched more.
“I regret having a friend like you.” Those words of remorseful regretfulness just killed her. Shattered her piece. By piece. Yet, she just stayed silent. Only Allah Knows how powerful those words are to be- on the repeat of her both ears.
During the final rakaah of witir, the Imam read the Qunoot duaa. She raised her hands and eyes fell onto the palm of hers. Sakeenah stopped breathing for a second. “Ya Allah.” For the hands that Allah azza wa jalla Has Given her since she was born, what else, could she ask for more? She wanted to apply for the degree so badly, but she could not. She has been waiting since years ago, just to attain that only opportunity, but when it came, she had to say no, it was just so difficult for her.
“Assalamualaykum warahmatullah, assalamualaykum warahmatullah.” She turned her head, quickly took a tissue and wiped her runny nose. The Imam’s voice reciting the duaas in the speakers slowly disappeared, replaced by her endless ‘rants’ with Allah azza wa jalla.
“Ya Allah.” Whenever she want to start ask for something. She stopped. Hesitated. And tears fall again. Sakeenah noticed, the eyes has been never too bored to let the tears washed the dirt of the dunya. Never too bored. She started again. “Ya Allah.”
In her mind, she whispered, “Law kana bainana…” If only the Prophet s.a.w was to stand in front of her, she would be speechless. Thinking, what has she prepared in meeting him s.a.w, and meeting Allah azza wa jalla. Yet, when mushkilahs (problems) wind in, she picture herself sitting in front of the Prophet s.a.w asking him s.a.w., what would you like me to do if you were here, ya Rasulullah s.a.w? She shook her head, thinking, if she even had the nerve to look into the Prophet’s s.a.w eyes and ask him. His s.a.w sunnah – acted upon sincerely? Or does she only know but she doesn’t know? Is she a hypocrtite yet she didn’t even know? Sakeenah paused to breathe. She couldn’t continue.
A hand held hers, she looked at those hands. Wrinkled yet soft. Very tiny figure dressed into the usual prayer clothes, smiling at her. “Ask Allah, and keep asking.” The old grandmother said softly into Sakeenah’s ears, and she wiped her tears. “My time is near, my time is near.” She repeated that and she patted Sakeenah’s hands. Sakeenah froze, looking at the woman who stood up and left her body bent as she held on her 7 year old granddaughter. Sakeenah stayed and looked at her sister who was opening her Quran mushaf.
“Imagine 365 days.” Sawfiyah said subtly as she closed her mushaf.
“365 days? Limatha ya habibty?” Sakeenah asked.
“365 days in the grave. Alone. Sands fill your ears, nose, mouth, and every single inch of your emptiness in your body.” Sawfiyah stopped.
“How would you feel? And the only other companions are your deeds, where you will never ever have the chance to top it up.” Sawfiyah continued looking at her red-eyed younger sister.
Sakeenah froze again. Her sister is odd at times, thinking of things which randomly crosses her minds.
“And, the thing that makes you less claustrophobic, is when your children make duaa for you, and the light of your sand compartment is the charity that you’ve been giving all your life.” Sawfiyah hugged her Sakeenah.
“I miss Nyai. Like seriously, I do.” Sawfiyah still hugging Sakeenah who was staying still. Sakeenah thought for a while. It’s true, this last week of Ramadhan would be the approximately 365 days her grandmother has been the people of grave. And she wonder, how was she.
And as for herself, she thought… if she could even last for 5 minutes in the grave.
They will all enter Jannah- inshAllah!
Sakeenah sat in front of her sister looking into her face, trying to make her understand. Sawfiyah knew her sister too well, she stopped and looked back.
“Ya hayaty. Listen to me. How do you feel, if you being patient for even just a bit to others but a huge sacrifice for you, from you just being patient, Allah azza wa jalla Grant you, you ancestors, your father, mother, grand parents, and great grand parents the best places to dwell- Jannah ya ukhti? “
Sakeenah stopped freezing. “Just being patient, everyone will enter Jannah?”
“Ya hayaty, how convinced are you with the words of Allah?”
“I believe with my heart and soul ya ukhti, the words of Allah azza wa jalla are indeed true and the most true.”
“Thus, despair no more ya ukhti, Allah Says in the Quran,
“Then is he who knows that what has been revealed to you from your Lord is the truth like one who is blind? They will only be reminded who are people of understanding –
Those who fulfill the covenant of Allah and do not break the contract,
And those who join that which Allah has ordered to be joined and fear their Lord and are afraid of the evil of [their] account,
And those who are patient, seeking the countenance of their Lord, and establish prayer and spend from what We have provided for them secretly and publicly and prevent evil with good – those will have the good consequence of [this] home -“
[Al Quran, Surah Ar Ra’d : 19-22]
And Allah azza wa jalla mentions more about this home ya hayaty in the following verses,
“Gardens of perpetual residence; they will enter them with whoever were righteous among their fathers, their spouses and their descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying],
“Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home.” “
[Al Quran: Surah Ar Ra’d : 23-24]
Sakeenah kept quiet, million thought running in her mind. She stopped, suddenly all the waiting complaints and sighs disappear into thin air.
“Even angels, will make duaa for us. For those who are sincere in searching for Allah azza wa jalla’s Mercy. Working for His s.w.t Sake and upholding the haq. Just imagine you doing all these for Allah azza wa jalla, and whilst your husband if you’re married is sitting at home doing nothing, angels still make duaa for him. And even for those who are not yet married, their future husbands or wives, only Allah Knows whom, will also get these best duaas from the angels.” Sawfiyah continued.
“Really?” Sakeenah asked in a meekly voice.
“It’s not that I say ya hayaty, it’s what Allah azza wa jalla mentions in the Quran, in Surah Ghafir,
“Those [angels] who carry the Throne and those around it exalt [ Allah ] with praise of their Lord and believe in Him and ask forgiveness for those who have believed, [saying], “Our Lord, You have encompassed all things in mercy and knowledge, so forgive those who have repented and followed Your way and protect them from the punishment of Hellfire.
Our Lord, and admit them to gardens of perpetual residence which You have promised them and whoever was righteous among their fathers, their spouses and their offspring. Indeed, it is You who is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.
And protect them from the evil consequences [of their deeds]. And he whom You protect from evil consequences that Day – You will have given him mercy. And that is the great attainment.””
[Al Quran, Surah Ghafir : 7-9]
SubhanAllah. Allahuakbar. Indeed, in the remembrance of Allah azza wa jalla do hearts find peace. Rest. Tranquility. In the midst of the unfinished tangleness of the dunya, once you’re able to declutter your surroundings and remember Him azza wa jalla, that feeling of happiness just comes, unnoticed. SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah.
Sakeenah hugged her dearest sister as tightly as she could. Ya Allah, Please Grant her the best for akheerah and dunya. Please ya Allah.
O Allah, purify our hearts; divest us of our faults; relieve our worries and troubles; protect us in the best way; and gather for us the best of the hereafter and the best of this life.
O Allah, rectify our condition. O Allah, join together and unite our hearts.
O Allah, allow our end to be concluded with righteous deeds.
O Allah, encompass us in the vastness of Your mercy.
O Allah, avert the harms and evils that concern and trouble us.
O Allah, allow us to pass away with sound faith, (faithful to) the Book and the Sunnah, and in a state in which You are pleased with us, O You Who is the Most Generous (al-Kareem).
O Allah, allow the Qur’an to be our close companion in this life; and in our graves a comforting friend; and a light on theSirat; and an intercession at the time of resurrection; and our companion in Paradise; and make it a protection and barricade between us and the Hellfire; and a guide and leader to all good works, by Your Grace, O Most Generous of those who show generosity.
O Allah, distance us from our mistakes as You have distanced the East from the West. O Allah, purge our sins from us the way a white cloth is purified from filth; O Allah cleanse us from our sins with the (purity of) water, snow, and hail.
O Allah, You are the Forgiving (al-`Affuw), and You love to forgive, so please forgive us. O Allah, You are the Forgiving (al-`Affuw), and You love to forgive, so please forgive us. O Allah, You are the Forgiving (al-`Affuw), the Generous (al-Kareem), the Forbearing (al-Haleem), the Great (al-`Adheem), and You love to forgive, so please forgive us.
O Allah, grant us well being and safety; pardon us; accept our deeds; accept us; accept our repentance, and excuse us, by Your loving Grace, O Most Merciful of those who show mercy.
Our Lord, accept from us (our deeds), You are the All-Hearing (as-Sami`), the All-Knowing (al-`Aleem). Accept our repentance, Our Lord, You are the Oft-relenting (at-Tawwab), The Merciful (ar-Raheem). Forgive us and have mercy upon us, Our Lord, You are the Forgiving (al-Ghafur), the Merciful (ar-Raheem). Save us from sorrow and worry and the greatest distress (of punishment in the Hereafter). Save us from sorrow and worry and the greatest distress (of punishment in the Hereafter).
Allah Knows Best.
One of my fav Surahs & interesting recitation which one of my fav sahabat shared. May Allah Reward you the bestest iA.
Listen, and please read the tafseer of this Surah- Adh Dhariyaat.
And, when the Shaykh repeats at
“So flee to Allah. Indeed, I am to you from Him a clear warner.”
Have a think. Why flee to Allah?
Allah Knows Best.