Salamualaikum wr wbt.
Since some day, I always imagined if one day Allah Was to Say my time’s up, with what I have done, what can I present to HIM azza wa jalla.
I always thought what was the feeling of skins being pulled from every area of the body without mercy, either slowly or quickly.
I always wanted to know, how it felt when wrapped in cloth, dust being thrown slowly on the head, sands filling from right, left, below and above. Was there a chance of claustrophobic?
I was always curious, how was it when there is none, never and will never ever forever a chance for me to do another milisecond of ‘amal to top up over those endless sins,
how was that feeling of endless regretness. How since I can’t even bear an inch of regretness in this so temporary world.
Inna lilLahi wa inna ilayhi raji`oon.
Verily, unto God do we belong and, verily, unto Him we shall return.
Always wanted to be like Khalid Al Walid who was always hunting for syahid, and will never regret even a second.
Always wanted to be like Fatima Az Zahra who was promised paradise even before she died by her beloved father, the Prophet s.a.w.
Always wanted to be like Zaid bin Harithah, Jaafar bin Abu Talib and Abdullah bin Rawahah who died a beautiful death until they appeared in the dreams of the Prophet s.a.w- Rewarded Jannah subhanAllah.
And also the beautiful story of Hanzalah r.a. , whom body was washed by the angels because of his non-reluctance when it was time for him to strive for Allah s.w.t’s Sake.
[Ya Allah. How far and still far have I to do with these amazing people.]
This Ramadhan, Allah s.w.t tested a family with a known illness which one of the family members should know best, but unfortunately, she’s still blur. And with this test that blur kid is making lots of duaa that everyone stays strong hearted, with her reminding herself to be strong as well. She is starting to predict her future career especially if she’s in the oncology section. Can she pull it through? With all the ‘strive your best, duaa and tawakkul’, can she really put that into practise sincerely, as ikhlas as possible for Allah? Can she?
Losses, who can deal with them? Even the Prophet s.a.w. shed tears when his son died. Moreover for weaker hearted people in His s.a.w.’s ummah. It’s like, knowing that something will happen, but you helplessly, do … nothing.
That blur kid, everytime she goes to the hospital, she’ll put herself into everyone’s shoes. Three dimensioning herself in the shoes of a son, a daughter, the patient herself, the doctor and the social worker. And for each pair of shoes, she trembled with a mix of emotions.
and quietly she whispered,
“Ya Allah, Forgive me, forgive my parents, forgive my family members ya Allah, and grant us qawiy. Grant us qawiy, tawakkul and ikhlas ya Allah.”
May Allah s.w.t Grant the blur kid’s grandmother the best for this dunya & akheerah. May Allah s.w.t strengthen the hearts of the family members to undergo this temporary pain and grief for HE s.w.t is Al Qahhar (The Conquerer, Ever Dominating) for HE azza wa jalla provides light in darkness, and . And He Provides Ease with every Hardship.
And grant patience like Ummu Salamah r.a. the way how she handled grief for Allah’s sake beautifully.
When it’s time to say sayonara, bismillah.
When it’s time to say sayonara, end it with insh’Allah, we’ll meet in Jannah. Me and you, and if you don’t find me, look out for me.
No pain or grief or disagreement can last forever, but with certainty, Allah (swt) lasts forever and from Him we came to be and it is to Him we will with certainty return.
May Allah s.w.t Grant us the best provisions for us to bring back home to our eternal home; taqwa.
Allah says, “…And take a provision with you for the journey, but the best of provisions is taqwa.”
(Qur’an, Al Baqarah:197)